Big Shock, I'm Incredibly Stubborn
Had a serious mass-transit related meltdown today. Getting to work wasn't a problem at all, but getting home...I thought I was at the right stop - I've taken the same bus line before from that stop! - but that was several hours earlier in the day and apparently there's some weird fuckery with the routes after 5pm. Anyway, my bus didn't stop there, so I ended up waiting for almost two hours before I finally gave in and called my dad to pick me up and drive me home. And then spent the next hour freaking out and crying on the phone at my mom because I had no idea how I was going to get home from my job anymore. I am, as it turns out, reasonably good at coping with on-going terrible fucked-up situations, but absolute pants at coping with temporary pot-holes.
Anyway, she talked me down and reminded me that I have multiple options here, from carpooling with someone at work to buying a bike to paying L to chauffeur, and one missed bus is not actually the end of the world. And I took some time out, shopped for used cars on Craigslist, and watched Korra while eating chocolate ice cream, and I feel a lot less like sobbing into my pillow. Now that I'm calm enough to poke around the ABQ Ride site and google maps, I think I even know what the problem was - paradoxically enough, to get to my apartment which is south of my office, I have to take the northbound bus. I'll confirm it with the bus driver in the morning, an maybe make sure I have a back-up ride before I try it again, but I think it will be okay. If I'm right, I might have even shaved a few minutes off my commute, because the northbound stop is a couple blocks closer than the south.
I still might start making plans with my dad for driving lessons, though. I don't know if I can afford a car right now (because honestly, if I can make the bus work than the car is way lower on my budget than cable, netflix, and video games), but maybe in a few months or a year when I'm making a little more money it might be something to consider. The only problem is keeping my relatives from finding out. I'm almost angry at my aunt right now - her constant bringing it up, all the insisting that I don't know what I'm missing, that as soon as I was on my own I'd realize how wrong I'd been, that I'd love it as soon as I tried it, has made it impossibly more difficult for me to even admit to myself that it might make my life a little easier, let alone ask for help learning how to drive, because it makes me feel like I'm betraying my principles. I know it's irrational to dig in my heels this much, but I can't seem to stop myself.
Anyway, she talked me down and reminded me that I have multiple options here, from carpooling with someone at work to buying a bike to paying L to chauffeur, and one missed bus is not actually the end of the world. And I took some time out, shopped for used cars on Craigslist, and watched Korra while eating chocolate ice cream, and I feel a lot less like sobbing into my pillow. Now that I'm calm enough to poke around the ABQ Ride site and google maps, I think I even know what the problem was - paradoxically enough, to get to my apartment which is south of my office, I have to take the northbound bus. I'll confirm it with the bus driver in the morning, an maybe make sure I have a back-up ride before I try it again, but I think it will be okay. If I'm right, I might have even shaved a few minutes off my commute, because the northbound stop is a couple blocks closer than the south.
I still might start making plans with my dad for driving lessons, though. I don't know if I can afford a car right now (because honestly, if I can make the bus work than the car is way lower on my budget than cable, netflix, and video games), but maybe in a few months or a year when I'm making a little more money it might be something to consider. The only problem is keeping my relatives from finding out. I'm almost angry at my aunt right now - her constant bringing it up, all the insisting that I don't know what I'm missing, that as soon as I was on my own I'd realize how wrong I'd been, that I'd love it as soon as I tried it, has made it impossibly more difficult for me to even admit to myself that it might make my life a little easier, let alone ask for help learning how to drive, because it makes me feel like I'm betraying my principles. I know it's irrational to dig in my heels this much, but I can't seem to stop myself.