Watch Me Try to Be Introspective and Fail

[masterofmidgets]

I've been thinking about my religion a lot the last couple weeks, and I'm not sure why. I don't know, I guess I've always had this idea of college as being a time when a lot of people have a religious crisis and change faiths, or stop practicing, or become atheists or whatever - not that /everyone/ does that, of course, it just always seemed like something that happened. But now I really don't see myself doing that, for a lot of reasons. One of them is that my faith isn't something forced on me by my parents, but something that I chose, when I was old enough to understand what I was doing, after a lot of thought and soul-searching. I'm Wiccan because I /want/ to be, not because I'll be grounded if I don't go to church or whatever. Also, the more I learn in my classes, especially SLE, the more I think that I just could not be anything else; I have too many issues with Christianity, with Islam, with Buddhism, with most of the religions that aren't what I am already (not that they aren't good religions, they just don't work for me). I have issues with Wicca on occasion too, but at least there's no such thing as holy writ. If I have issues, I can decide to interpret things or believe things differently, and I won't get burned on the stake. Mostly, though, being Wicca just feels right to me in a way that nothing else ever has.

That being said, I do feel like I've been having a minor religious crisis lately - not doubting my faith, but realizing I'm not practicing it very well. I'm doing my best to live in the spirit of Wicca and the path of the Goddess, and I think I do okay there, I just don't /think/ about it very often - I don't pray, I don't talk to Her, I don't spend time outside listening to Her, I haven't tried to do any spells or divination in a /while/. I just feel...disconnected, and I don't like that.

I'm not sure if pagans do Samhain resolutions, but I'm making one - I want to try harder this year to live as a Wiccan, and not just an ordinary college student who calls herself a Wiccan.

Goddess Bless and Happy Samhain, minna-san!