Love In The Asylum

masterofmidgets: oh hey, question for you?
colourofsaying: always
masterofmidgets: which monastic order would you say was most dickish?
colourofsaying: ...hunh
colourofsaying: I'd have to have a list in front of me
masterofmidgets: I...am working on backstory for my rp character
colourofsaying: Augustinians, probably
masterofmidgets: and I decided to go with a medieval crusades naming theme for her cult colony and the anarchists
colourofsaying: Jesuits are also on my list for having no sense of humor
masterofmidgets: what about the Benedictines?
colourofsaying: I seem to recall that the Cistercians could be asshats
colourofsaying: and I have a soft spot for the Benedictines because of Brother Cadfael
colourofsaying: And no one can hate the Franciscans, really
masterofmidgets: nope
colourofsaying: some of them were incredibly nuts, but still
masterofmidgets: Bernard of Gui was a Dominican...
masterofmidgets: the anarchists are going to be the Order of Acre
colourofsaying: oh, Dominicans
colourofsaying: I don't like them either
colourofsaying: them and the Cistercians and the Augustinians
colourofsaying: Jesuits are better than those three
masterofmidgets: Jesuits are at least academically rigourous'
colourofsaying: /exactly/
colourofsaying: you can get somewhere with a jesuit
colourofsaying: they'll admit they're wrong if you're logical enough about it
masterofmidgets: but a Cistercian?
masterofmidgets: man, fuck em
colourofsaying: exactly
colourofsaying: *giggles*
colourofsaying: thank you for vastly improving my evening
masterofmidgets: *beams*
masterofmidgets: I am always there will some vulgar opinions about medieval monastism

I'm still alive, I promise. Just been massively busy with various RL things this week, including cooking most of a Thanksgiving dinner for eight, doing all my Christmas shopping, meeting up with the lovely hanjuuluver and her boyfriend for an afternoon of laughing at fashion and eating donuts, and helping my mom negotiate some major neighbor and boyfriend drama and figure out how to use her new laptop. And I've been working on my YT assignment of course. I finished my canon review earlier in the week, and I now have a working outline which has already made the minimum required wordcount. This is going to be ridiculous, I swear.

My other project this week has been converting colourofsaying to the cult of David Eddings. Mostly by spamming her with bits of ridiculous dialogue and stories about Ce'Nedra stealing the Imperial Legions of Tolnedra and Ehlana forcing the election of the pope until she had no choice but to read the Elenium with me. Which, okay, will never have quite the affectionate hold on me that the Belgariad does, since those were the books that got me out of reading children's/YA fantasy and into the adult stacks when I was 13 and thus were hugely formative for my adolescence as a geek. But it's hard not to love a series where the plot stops in the middle for half a book so they characters can deal with the papal election. WHICH ENDS IN A SIEGE. SO AWESOME.

Anyway, being us we have many opinions on these books, on everything from the plots (boring and predictable, but deliberately so) to Ehlana (awesome, or Most Awesome?) to Tynian and Ulath (SO MARRIED and should have their own sitcom). Most of all, we somehow keep ending up discussing the sex life of Sir Bevier, The Perpetually Awkward Virgin.

colourofsaying: It's not safe to be a Pandion and chaste.
masterofmidgets: it presents a challenge to evil-minded people
colourofsaying: Bevier has an axe to dissuade said evil-minded people
colourofsaying: Also there was That Night Of Which We Never Speak
colourofsaying: but everyone knows about it
colourofsaying: it was very quietly broadcast to dissuade the evil people.
colourofsaying: not at all because it was funny
colourofsaying: nor because the church knights as a whole have a deep curiosity about Bevier's sex noises
masterofmidgets: I can't decide if Bevier is secretly a screamer
masterofmidgets: or if he's so DOOM AND SHAME that he shoves a hand into his mouth as soon as he gets going so he won't have to admit he's getting off on it
colourofsaying: he's not a screamer
colourofsaying: he /whimpers/
colourofsaying: it's very embarrassing
colourofsaying: (Ulath and Tynian think it's adorable)
masterofmidgets: he's really...fast, too
masterofmidgets: mostly because he represses so hard that by the time he finally gets his trousers down he's about boiling over
masterofmidgets: Ulath and Tynian make jokes about it
masterofmidgets: like, it's not a sin if you don't make it past the two minute mark!

Oh, Bevier. We love the boy, we really do. It's just so fun to imagine unfortunate things happening to him.

Well, now that I'm all caught up, time to watch Thor and wait to see if we get snowed in tonight.

Sometimes, my fandoms cross over in weird ways. Especially when David Tennant's unfortunate facial hair is involved.

masterofmidgets: oh my god what is that THING on his face
masterofmidgets: quick someone kill it before it gets to his eyes
colourofsaying: Another man for whom growing a beard was a bad life choice
masterofmidgets: that one is bad enough that I'm not half convinced we didn't see stills from an unaired episode where the Doctor fights evil beard aliens
masterofmidgets: they try to save David Villa, but he realized what was going on long ago and now he and his beard are working in concert to take over the world
colourofsaying: They're starting to spread into other teams
colourofsaying: Spreading the evil alien soulpatch
colourofsaying: Turning them into goal-scoring borgs
masterofmidgets: which, you know, there are worse outcomes
colourofsaying: Except that one day all the balls will catch on fire and explode when they are looked upon by the borgs
colourofsaying: And then they will turn into thingies, toclafane
colourofsaying: and fwoooosh
colourofsaying: boom.
colourofsaying: the end.
masterofmidgets: but the day will be saved by the goalies
masterofmidgets: who, after all, do know what to do with balls, even unpredictably exploding ones
masterofmidgets: actually, give Pep a few minutes to recover and he might start advocating it as a new training method
colourofsaying: "Look, look! If they explode, how much faster everyone will be! Fear! Fear will motivate them!"
masterofmidgets: Barcelona will be the only team out of Italy that double-qualifies for football matches and mercenary jobs
colourofsaying: THey had to learn fast
colourofsaying: Fortunately they were all in excellent shape
colourofsayingr: Bojan is oddly good at it
masterofmidgets: and David Villa likes that he gets to kill things now
colourofsaying: it makes his work so much more satisfying
colourofsaying: Since the borg possessed him, he's had this urge
colourofsaying: And now, he can satisfy it!
colourofsaying: Without, you know, enslaving humanity
masterofmidgets: even if they still aren't Cristiano Ronaldo
masterofmidgets: but hey, you can't have everything

Not all bad, for a Monday! Granted, a bit of a rough start, since Apartment Roomie did not bother to tell me the electrical outlet in the kitchen was broken, which I only found out when I tried to make breakfast and my toast failed to be toast in any appreciable way. Great start to the morning, really. Apparently in addition to being The Person Who Cleans I am now The Person Who Gets Things Fixed, since she didn't bother to put in a repair claim either. Ah, well.

But! I also met with my Stegner Fellow for the first time this afternoon, and she is interesting and awesome and full of good ideas. And oh god, I have a story draft due in two weeks. So much writing to do. So much research about obscure New Mexican culture. So many calls to my mother for fact-checking. Exciting, in a terrifying sort of way. At the very least, I have a general idea of what I want to get out of this project, and what stories I want to tell, so I have somewhere to start.

Also, this conversation happened. Because I was reading de-aging fic (shut up), and sending colourofsaying bits of lines about baby!John playing with Sherlock's fingers and baby!Sherlock totally being a biter and a hair-puller and a shiny-things-grabber and, well, where else was this going to go?

mastermidgets: god, Mycroft hated him SO MUCH
mastermidgets: I mean, he had not been sold on the idea of a little brother in the first place - why does he need a tiny inferior clone? - but. Shrieking and grabbing and drool all over his science equipment, WHAT
colourofsaying: And his hair is such a mess
colourofsaying: From the minute he was born he was all tangly
mastermidgets: and of course he screams when anyone tries to comb it
colourofsaying: And it's just like 'what is this horrible thing?'
colourofsaying: And Mummy is all 'oh, you were much the same, darling. Perhaps worse. So /finicky/. At least Sherlock doesn't begin screaming when he makes a little mess, does he, Sherlock?'
mastermidgets: And Sherlock looks as smug as a baby not in full control of his eye muscles can look
colourofsaying: Which... is pretty damn smug in Sherlock's case
colourofsaying: Mycroft goes stomping off to his Little Scientists lab table.
colourofsayingr: Naturally, it is very well augmented.
colourofsaying: And Sherlock, as soon as he learns to crawl, hauls himself after and babbles at his feet and when Mycroft doesn't pick him up he bites Mycroft's toes.
colourofsaying: Which is one of the many reasons Mycroft began to wear shoes all the time, except in bed.
colourofsaying: And even then he tends to wear socks.
mastermidgets: and, you know, he still maintains that all the times Sherlock spit up on him were entirely intentional and planned
colourofsaying: which might actually be true
colourofsaying: And he secretly dotes on Sherlock and has a little case file on him.
colourofsaying: Which is like a baby book only a bit creepy.
mastermidgets: he totally puts hits out on the other children who pick on him
mastermidgets: tiny primary school hitmen
colourofsaying: And fetches him from school and dusts him off when he gets dirty and fusses over him when he rips his clothes and when he finds 'experiments' in tiny!Sherlock's pockets and scolds him when he fails to do his homework.
mastermidgets: none of which Sherlock appreciates, or even seems to be aware of
masterofmidgets: but, you know, little brothers, what can you do?
colourofsaying: He seems to resent it, generally speaking.
mastermidgets: he doesn't like fussing
colourofsaying: Especially when Mycroft plops him in the bath and scrubs out his skinned knees.
mastermidgets: or Mycroft tousling his hair
colourofsaying: Mycroft doesn't /tousle/
colourofsaying: Mycroft /combs/
colourofsaying: Vehemently.
mastermidgets: while Sherlock tries to bite him
mastermidgets: he...never really grows out of that

(This is true. John has taken to keeping a bat around for when Mycroft comes to the flat, because inevitably he ends up having to pry Sherlock off him. He really does not get how this family works at all.)

I love the German National Team. They play a good cooperative game, they are hot as fucking hell, and oh yeah, they steamroller anyone who tries to come up against them. ♥

( And an excerpt from a conversation on Germany's after-match celebrations )

And now it's time for Spain v. Paraguay. GO SPAIN GO!

For the record, Arthurian mythos and contemporary folk-country music is a match made in SOMEWHERE WEIRD.

masterofmidgets: It is like...King Arthur if France were Oklahoma
colourofsaying: ...which is a very odd thought indeed
masterofmidgets: yes. yes it is.
masterofmidgets: I assume that Texas is England?
colourofsaying: Where's Ireland?
masterofmidgets: do you think Cornwall would be Kansas?
colourofsaying: and Scotland?
masterofmidgets: Scotland is Arkansas
colourofsaying: Ireland is Utah
colourofsaying: Full of extremists.
masterofmidgets: who gets to be Rome?
masterofmidgets: Texas has to beat them
colourofsaying: Obviously DC
colourofsaying: Because they interfere all the freaking time without paying any attention.
masterofmidgets: and New Mexico is one of those kingdoms that shows up when someone needs to kidnap someone so Lancelot can hit them
colourofsaying: Arizona is what?
colourofsaying: Another of same?
masterofmidgets: yup
masterofmidgets: and Guinevere is from...Mississippi or Tennessee?
colourofsaying: ...depends on what Guinevere.
colourofsaying: If she really sucks, Tennessee
colourofsaying: If she's okay, Mississippi

On the other hand, Turnbull and his husband adopt little French-Canadian babies and teach them about the Queen and it is the sweetest thing ever.

masterofmidgets: oddly enough, I cannot see Fraser with kids
masterofmidgets: like, I think he's really good with them, but I can't imagine him having kids of his own
colourofsaying: He's the perfect uncle?
masterofmidgets: yes, exactly
masterofmidgets: he adores Frannie's kids and dotes on them outrageously and teaches them Canadian history
colourofsaying: Whereas I can see Ray (both Rays) being excellent parents.
colourofsaying: RayV - he'd be a fabulous parent. He'd make a fuss, but he'd be thrilled.
masterofmidgets: and RayK would be the nice dad
colourofsaying: And they'd run roughshod over him, and he'd teach them bad fashion sense
masterofmidgets: the one who lets you eat nothing but waffles in a can
colourofsaying: RayK would, I think, be the one who bribed and cajoled and coerced them into behaving
colourofsaying: Fraser tries to teach them duty and morals and ethics.
colourofsaying: They ignore him
colourofsaying: Duty or waffles in a can?
colourofsaying: He's really good with very small children and teenagers
colourofsaying: He's not good with the middle ages
masterofmidgets: well, babies mostly just need to not be dropped, and teenagers are like real people only stupider
masterofmidgets: but little kids are /weird/
masterofmidgets: they want to climb on him, and touch his hat, and if you're a mountie why don't you have a horse?
colourofsaying: They ask him questions for the hell of it
colourofsaying: And he just keeps answering logically
colourofsaying: And they ask him more and more questions
masterofmidgets: Ray has to save him
colourofsaying: Whereas RayK is all 'Dude, it's that fuzzy thing on the screen, now shut up and watch the show and we'll see about waffles in a can'
masterofmidgets: like, seriously Fraser, you don't have to answer all their cretin questions. Just tell them a wizard did it and shove them out into the yard
colourofsaying: And RayV is all 'It's a made-up thingamajig, go play'

Re: Sam Winchester's years at Stanford:

masterofmidgets : ARGH I HATE EVERYONE WHO SAYS SAM'S MAJOR WAS PRE-LAW
masterofmidgets : (although I guess more hate for the STUPID CANON than the people who don't know any better)
colourofsaying : Tell me why
masterofmidgets : because Stanford doesn't /have/ /any/ pre-professional majors
masterofmidgets : I can't decide in my head whether Sam is more likely to have been a Classics major (since he already had the Latin background), a History major (since he's into the research), or an English major.
colourofsaying : ...I kind of want him to be an English major.
colourofsaying : Dean would tease him horribly
colourofsaying : He'd say he was a history major to get Dean off his back, but it would ALL BE LIES
colourofsaying : Once he met Tolstoy, resistance was futile
colourofsaying : He fell into the black pit of lit studies like a cut flower
masterofmidgets : he was corrupted into wicked and unnatural things by a Stegner Fellow
colourofsaying : He walked into the library and promptly had an Experience. It was slightly embarrassing.
colourofsaying : He was known to frequent the mysterious cabals of the enlightened, which involved copious quantities of tea and other more intoxicating beverages, where people shouted fiercely over the virtues of their favourites.
masterofmidgets :  (also known as the CoHo)
colourofsaying : God, Dean would /never/ let him live it down
colourofsaying : He's told Dean he only had one class on modern poets, it was /required/ damn it, but then Dean found his transcript.
masterofmidgets : Damn it, Sammy, Dad didn't wake you up at 6am to go running every morning so that you could sit around reading John Donne like a pansy-ass hippie.
masterofmidgets : Dean felt so betrayed. If his brother was going to go to college, he could at least major in something with more shooting in it.
colourofsaying : Dean has a strange perception of college as some sort of advanced martial arts training. He's conflated it with boot camp
colourofsaying : From what Sam's told him of the homework load, it might as well be.
masterofmidgets : he's pretty sure the Marines get to sleep more
colourofsaying : He's betrayed to learn that the ass-kicking only happens in clubs (and that the professors don't have some sort of weird D/s thing going on, really, actually, /I can't believe you thought that DEAN/)

Note: this started out as a conversation about how Kirk gives people terrible birthday presents, like copies of the Orion Kama Sutra, or coupons for the whorehouse on Rigel VII, or kidnapping them and leaving them tied to the bed of their secret crush. I blame all of this on colourofsaying .

colourofsaying : A psychic plant.
Do those plants receive or project or both?
masterofmidgets : probably both
for maximum ridiculousness
espically ridiculous if it projects totally at random
like, Sulu is in his room, and suddenly Lt Riley can't stop thinking about Chekov naked
colourofsaying : That would be hilarious
Plant during flowering season would be even better.
masterofmidgets : plant during flowering season is contagious
one breath of pollen and you are seeing what the Captain really wants to do with McCoy
colourofsaying : And then they are seeing what you are thinking about that.
And what other things that makes you think.
colourofsaying : Kirk loves to sneak into the locked parts of the botany labs and redistribute.
He thinks mass crew orgies are excellent for morale.
masterofmidgets : an excellent way to relieve tension on long voyages and foster inter-crew communication
(if "yes, yes, harder, right there, oh god!" counts as communication, I suppose)
colourofsaying : Which Spock does not think counts, but he tends to use psychic barriers during flowering season.
masterofmidgets : which is probably a good thing, because thinking about Spock thinking about sex would probably break most of the crew's brains
colourofsaying : But Kirk would love it.
Any sort of sex is good. He's quite open to it. And anyone having it.
masterofmidgets : Kirk: I knew under that cold, logical exterior beat the heart of a total perv
Kirk: not that wanting my ass is illogical. I mean, have you looked at it lately?
colourofsaying : Spock: I believe that the answer to that question has recently been projected into your mind by [insert latin name of plant].
masterofmidgets : Kirk: and may I just say how flattered I am that you prefer me to subspace scans? Although I don't think I am actually that bendy. But I'm willing to work on that!
colourofsaying : Spock: Subspace scans begin to hold more appeal.
masterofmidgets : Kirk: even if I tell you I know how to do that Vulcan position you've been fantasizing about?
colourofsaying : Spock: ...the logical response seems possibly deleterious to our reputations.
masterofmidgets : Kirk:...you have met me before, haven't you?
Kirk: besides, the entire crew's thought we were doing it since that time I fainted in your arms on Seti Alpha VI
colourofsaying : Chekov: *blinkblink*
Sulu: *agrees mentally*
Spock: This is not your concern, ensign.
masterofmidgets : Kirk: or maybe since your old future self badtouched my brain, I'm not really sure
colourofsaying : Spock: I do not believe I have come across a reference to this incident in the logs...
masterofmidgets : Kirk: and you WON'T, thank you Mr. First Officer. Let's just say it was...instructive and leave it at that, okay?
colourofsaying : Spock: ...your mind projects equally to your vocal cords, were you aware?
masterofmidgets : Kirk: good god, why are we still talking about this when I can see myself sucking dick in your head?
Kirk: I don't even care I said that on the bridge in front of the Commander of the Klingon Fleet.
colourofsaying : Spock: I believe he may have been rendered unconcious by the strength - or subject - of your projections, Captain.
masterofmidgets : Kirk: Then Sulu, fire photons on the Klingon vessel and I am declaring this crisis officially over. I have a First Officer to go violate the Starfleet Code of Conduct with.
colourofsaying : Spock: Captain, I believe this is a gross violation of - ppphmmf
Kirk: *smug* I believe that is the point.

colourofsaying : Did you notice that Fraser looks similar to John Barrowman?
masterofmidgets : JB from, like, way back in S1 DW, maybe
colourofsaying : *nods*
masterofmidgets : that provides some very strange mental images, and also a crossover where Jack is his own great-great-great grandfather somehow (and by somehow I mean fucking someone he shouldn't)
colourofsaying :  *grins*
...wait, were you thinking of Jack as a Mountie in a threesome with the Rays?
masterofmidgets : um, no?
colourofsaying : ok, that's probably a good thing
Jack as a Mountie is a scary scary thought
And he probably couldn't carry caribou either
masterofmidgets : more like Jack making an unexpected trip to Canada in the 60s and then one day he and the team are in Chicago and he meets a Mountie who looks suspiciously familiar
colourofsaying :  *grins*
Somehow Fraser procreates eventually?
masterofmidgets : or at the very least jerks off into a cup for science
colourofsaying :  *raises eyebrows* Somehow the phrase 'jerks off' and the name 'Fraser' sound very odd together
colourofsaying :  I just - do you think he ever did?
masterofmidgets : I...god
I actually imagine him having a very strict schedule for it. Like, once in week, in order to stay in top condition and good spirits.
very businesslike
colourofsaying : *giggles*
With Mountie-approved pinup posters?
masterofmidgets : he lies back and thinks of Nova Scotia
colourofsaying :  *dies*
YES
He makes Diefenbaker go in the barn.
masterofmidgets : this is not a sight appropriate for young wolves
colourofsaying : Nope
Although Diefenbaker is apparently quite the Casanova
He has puppies!
masterofmidgets : awwwwwwww
I am dead from cute
colourofsaying :  *grins*
masterofmidgets : ...and also picturing Fraser very carefully staring straight ahead, back perfectly straight, while he gives Diefenbaker The Talk.
colourofsaying : ...yes
masterofmidgets : I feel like I have to post this conversation now

ETA: this conversation continued on to Jack trying to initiate an orgy with Fraser and both Rays, John Hart's attempt to seduce Fraser into his spaceship, Fraser's identity crisis, and the founding of Torchwood Chicago. Go us.