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masterofmidgetsNote: this started out as a conversation about how Kirk gives people terrible birthday presents, like copies of the Orion Kama Sutra, or coupons for the whorehouse on Rigel VII, or kidnapping them and leaving them tied to the bed of their secret crush. I blame all of this on colourofsaying .
colourofsaying : A psychic plant.
Do those plants receive or project or both?
masterofmidgets : probably both
for maximum ridiculousness
espically ridiculous if it projects totally at random
like, Sulu is in his room, and suddenly Lt Riley can't stop thinking about Chekov naked
colourofsaying : That would be hilarious
Plant during flowering season would be even better.
masterofmidgets : plant during flowering season is contagious
one breath of pollen and you are seeing what the Captain really wants to do with McCoy
colourofsaying : And then they are seeing what you are thinking about that.
And what other things that makes you think.
colourofsaying : Kirk loves to sneak into the locked parts of the botany labs and redistribute.
He thinks mass crew orgies are excellent for morale.
masterofmidgets : an excellent way to relieve tension on long voyages and foster inter-crew communication
(if "yes, yes, harder, right there, oh god!" counts as communication, I suppose)
colourofsaying : Which Spock does not think counts, but he tends to use psychic barriers during flowering season.
masterofmidgets : which is probably a good thing, because thinking about Spock thinking about sex would probably break most of the crew's brains
colourofsaying : But Kirk would love it.
Any sort of sex is good. He's quite open to it. And anyone having it.
masterofmidgets : Kirk: I knew under that cold, logical exterior beat the heart of a total perv
Kirk: not that wanting my ass is illogical. I mean, have you looked at it lately?
colourofsaying : Spock: I believe that the answer to that question has recently been projected into your mind by [insert latin name of plant].
masterofmidgets : Kirk: and may I just say how flattered I am that you prefer me to subspace scans? Although I don't think I am actually that bendy. But I'm willing to work on that!
colourofsaying : Spock: Subspace scans begin to hold more appeal.
masterofmidgets : Kirk: even if I tell you I know how to do that Vulcan position you've been fantasizing about?
colourofsaying : Spock: ...the logical response seems possibly deleterious to our reputations.
masterofmidgets : Kirk:...you have met me before, haven't you?
Kirk: besides, the entire crew's thought we were doing it since that time I fainted in your arms on Seti Alpha VI
colourofsaying : Chekov: *blinkblink*
Sulu: *agrees mentally*
Spock: This is not your concern, ensign.
masterofmidgets : Kirk: or maybe since your old future self badtouched my brain, I'm not really sure
colourofsaying : Spock: I do not believe I have come across a reference to this incident in the logs...
masterofmidgets : Kirk: and you WON'T, thank you Mr. First Officer. Let's just say it was...instructive and leave it at that, okay?
colourofsaying : Spock: ...your mind projects equally to your vocal cords, were you aware?
masterofmidgets : Kirk: good god, why are we still talking about this when I can see myself sucking dick in your head?
Kirk: I don't even care I said that on the bridge in front of the Commander of the Klingon Fleet.
colourofsaying : Spock: I believe he may have been rendered unconcious by the strength - or subject - of your projections, Captain.
masterofmidgets : Kirk: Then Sulu, fire photons on the Klingon vessel and I am declaring this crisis officially over. I have a First Officer to go violate the Starfleet Code of Conduct with.
colourofsaying : Spock: Captain, I believe this is a gross violation of - ppphmmf
Kirk: *smug* I believe that is the point.
colourofsaying .colourofsaying : A psychic plant.Do those plants receive or project or both?
masterofmidgets : probably bothfor maximum ridiculousness
espically ridiculous if it projects totally at random
like, Sulu is in his room, and suddenly Lt Riley can't stop thinking about Chekov naked
colourofsaying : That would be hilariousPlant during flowering season would be even better.
masterofmidgets : plant during flowering season is contagiousone breath of pollen and you are seeing what the Captain really wants to do with McCoy
colourofsaying : And then they are seeing what you are thinking about that.And what other things that makes you think.
colourofsaying : Kirk loves to sneak into the locked parts of the botany labs and redistribute.He thinks mass crew orgies are excellent for morale.
masterofmidgets : an excellent way to relieve tension on long voyages and foster inter-crew communication(if "yes, yes, harder, right there, oh god!" counts as communication, I suppose)
colourofsaying : Which Spock does not think counts, but he tends to use psychic barriers during flowering season.masterofmidgets : which is probably a good thing, because thinking about Spock thinking about sex would probably break most of the crew's brainscolourofsaying : But Kirk would love it.Any sort of sex is good. He's quite open to it. And anyone having it.
masterofmidgets : Kirk: I knew under that cold, logical exterior beat the heart of a total pervKirk: not that wanting my ass is illogical. I mean, have you looked at it lately?
colourofsaying : Spock: I believe that the answer to that question has recently been projected into your mind by [insert latin name of plant].masterofmidgets : Kirk: and may I just say how flattered I am that you prefer me to subspace scans? Although I don't think I am actually that bendy. But I'm willing to work on that!colourofsaying : Spock: Subspace scans begin to hold more appeal.masterofmidgets : Kirk: even if I tell you I know how to do that Vulcan position you've been fantasizing about?colourofsaying : Spock: ...the logical response seems possibly deleterious to our reputations.masterofmidgets : Kirk:...you have met me before, haven't you?Kirk: besides, the entire crew's thought we were doing it since that time I fainted in your arms on Seti Alpha VI
colourofsaying : Chekov: *blinkblink*Sulu: *agrees mentally*
Spock: This is not your concern, ensign.
masterofmidgets : Kirk: or maybe since your old future self badtouched my brain, I'm not really surecolourofsaying : Spock: I do not believe I have come across a reference to this incident in the logs...masterofmidgets : Kirk: and you WON'T, thank you Mr. First Officer. Let's just say it was...instructive and leave it at that, okay?colourofsaying : Spock: ...your mind projects equally to your vocal cords, were you aware?masterofmidgets : Kirk: good god, why are we still talking about this when I can see myself sucking dick in your head?Kirk: I don't even care I said that on the bridge in front of the Commander of the Klingon Fleet.
colourofsaying : Spock: I believe he may have been rendered unconcious by the strength - or subject - of your projections, Captain.masterofmidgets : Kirk: Then Sulu, fire photons on the Klingon vessel and I am declaring this crisis officially over. I have a First Officer to go violate the Starfleet Code of Conduct with. colourofsaying : Spock: Captain, I believe this is a gross violation of - ppphmmfKirk: *smug* I believe that is the point.