Clearly I'm a Luddite Sleeper Agent

So it turns out that when it comes to computers I have some kind of Kiss of Death thing going on, because I swear every machine I have touched this week has immediately broken in some catastrophic way. First was my laptop and the dead power cord. Then I went to the computer cluster to check my email and the computer I was using froze when I tried to open the browser - couldn't get it unfrozen, couldn't shut it down, couldn't use another computer because I was still logged in and they wouldn't take my password. And it was a Mac, which pro-Mac/anti-PC people have been telling me smugly for years never freeze or crash. Once I got that resolved (by unplugging the computer), all of the other computers in the cluster instantly developed this bizarre bug where they wouldn't take anyone's passwords. Our RCC fixed that one. And then this morning, the log-in was working, but the computers were starting and loading so slowly I had time to leave the dorm, go to the post office, and come back between when I logged-in and when I could actually do anything. KISS OF DEATH I SWEAR.

Still no power cord in my mailbox. Still no paycheck, either from the job I'm working at now or the job I finished three weeks ago. I hate our post office sometimes. I'm still bitter about the package freshman year that took them six months to deliver. But this is a hell of a lot more stressful, since I really need my computer this week. And I'm getting a little frantic about that money.

Might be getting sick - I've been feeling kind of wonky since yesterday evening. Probably not swine flu, as paranoid as everyone is - when I got the flu in the spring I went from feeling perfectly fine to wanting to die in the space of about six hours. But if I am getting sick I'm going to be so pissed off, since there is a singer performing at the CoHo tomorrow I really want to go see. Fuck you, immune system.

An Open Letter To Anonymous

As if this week hasn't been stressful enough, I come home to an anonymous comment in my email to the post I made at the beginning of the summer about Dr. George Tiller's death that pretty much filled me with indignant rage. My reply, such as it is, got long enough that I feel it warrants reposting. Original comment (which was quoting extensively from my original post) is in quotes; everything else is my response.



"Yeah, characterize a whole group of people based on the actions of a few radicals. The vast majority of pro-lifers were horrified by Tiller's murder, and deplore violence in general."

Information collected by the National Abortion Federation and the United States Department of Justice on abortion clinic violence, including bombings, shootings, and acid attacks:
http://www.prochoice.org/about_abortion/violence/history_extreme.asp
http://www.religioustolerance.org/abo_viol.htm
http://www.usdoj.gov/crt/crim/faceweb.php

My statement was perhaps overly generalized, and for that I do apologize. There are many in the pro-life movement who do respect life and do not condone violence. However, the fact is that Dr. Tiller's murder was not an isolated incident, and the (active politic) pro-life movement as a whole has a history of endorsing and encouraging this kind of crime.

"If you don't want a child, don't conceive one. It's not that difficult to figure out."

And what about the women who are raped? What about the girls who are molested by a family member, a teacher, or a religious leader? What about the girls whose boyfriends promise them they'll pull out in time, they'll marry them, they'll stick around? What about the ones who grew up in a state with abstinence-only sex education, where no one has ever told them they can get pregnant the first time? Or, to more accurately reflect the women that Dr. Tiller was dealing with, what about those who find out too late their baby will live only minutes past birth, or is already dying? Those who have babies without faces, or brains? Those who get pregnant only to learn that carrying a baby to term will probably kill them? It's easy to say women who don't want children shouldn't have them, but it's not that simple.

"Have you ever bothered to talk to any members of the pro-life movement? Educate yourself, instead of letting NARAL or Planned Parenthood think for you. Many pro-life websites have links to crisis pregnancy centers, places that actually help women instead of murdering their children."

Yes, thank you, I have on occasion talked to people who are pro-life - including some of my close friends and family. As far as pregnancy crisis centers go: all women should have access to information and counseling before and after they make what can be a very difficult choice - which should include information on other options aside from abortion. I'm not arguing that. But pregnancy crisis centers, in many cases, misinform and harass women who come to them for help in order to prevent them from choosing to have abortions.

""Dr." Tiller was a murderer. Does that give anybody the right to kill him? Of course not. But to refer to him as a hero is horribly misguided."

This is something I doubt we will agree on. I do not consider abortion murder, because I do not believe life starts at conception. I do not consider a fetus alive until it is capable of sustaining life outside of the mother's womb. But that's my opinion, and you are entitled to yours. But it's not really about that, and it never has been. It's about the right of a woman to decide what she can do with her own body. Whatever individuals within the movement may believe (I don't know you, and I don't know your motivations for being pro-life, so I cannot comment on that), the pro-life movement as a whole exists because its leaders and its fiercest advocates want to control women and their sexuality. I'm not okay with that. Dr. Tiller is a hero to me because he understood that, and devoted his life to giving women in desperate, dire straits a choice. Not an obligation, not a mandate - just a choice.

"My heart goes out to Tiller's family and the children he murdered, and all the women he's hurt."

My heart goes out to Dr. Tiller's family. And to the families of the other abortion providers who have been senselessly attacked and murdered in this crusade. And to the women who have been guilted or shamed or frightened or threatened or forced to have children, and for the children who grow up knowing that they weren't wanted. It's a bad situation all around.