Also, Could They Have Picked A Creepier Picture of Darwin?

What do I do with a creationist copy of The Origin of Species?

I swear when I took it I didn't know what it was. When I was walking through the quad on the way to class this morning, I passed some people handing out books, and the woman offered me a copy. I thought it was just some promotional by the bio department or something - the cover of the book just says Darwin's Origin of Species, it doesn't mention the raving crazy that lies inside. I really wish you all could see my face as I was reading the introduction to this thing and watching it get closer and closer to jumping the shark. It goes from the fairly sane "this is what Darwinian evolution is" to the questionable but reasonable "these are some questions people have raised that Drawinian evolution hasn't been able to adequately answer as of yet" to the eye-rolling "so obviously evolution is an illogical anti-scientific lie!!!". And then it veers, inexplicably and infuriatingly, into"Christianity is the only true religion and everyone else is deluded and wrong, God is vengeful and will smite you for being a heathen, and you are going to burn in hell" territory.

AND THEN THE REST OF IT IS JUST THE ORIGIN OF SPECIES. Like, there aren't even any footnotes or annotations or abridgements or anything. It's just Darwin, word for word. Why on earth would you waste your money reprinting an entire 250 page text just so you can attach a note saying everything in it is wrong and evil? THIS IS VERY CONFUSING TO ME.

So I can't decide if I should keep it or not. On the one hand, having my own copy of Origin of Species is hardly a bad thing, especially since it didn't cost me any money, and I can always ignore the head-bashing lunacy of the introduction, or even excise it entirely (this is why man invented exacto knives!). On the other hand, I'm not sure I want to own a book that spends that much time telling me that I'm evil, self-deluded, and going to hell - and I don't want to support, even implicitly, someone who feels that way about me. Probably I will just take my mom's advice and leave it at the bus stop or something. 

(True Fact: while I was telling this story to my mom, and rambling emphatically about how the paternalistic attitude of certain religious - and aggressively atheist - people that I am somehow so stupid that I know that Christianity is the only true path to salvation/there is no such thing as god, and just keep living a life of sin and destructive self-deception anyway makes me want to punch them in the face, I noticed that I was walking down the sidewalk NEXT TO A NUN.)

I Know What God Thinks

In light of my earlier post: I want to take this song and staple it to people's HEADS.

God Thinks - Voltaire

God thinks all blacks are obsolete farm equipment
God thinks the Jews killed his son and must be punished
God thinks the white man is Satan
God, they know what God thinks

God thinks we should all convert to Judaism
God thinks we must all be Christians and
God thinks we should all embrace Islam
God thinks the only true religion is Hinduism

And I
I know what God thinks
God thinks you're a waste of flesh
God prefers an Atheist

God God
God thinks all people like you are hateful
God thinks all people like you are an embarrassment to creation
self-righteous, judgmental, first to throw a stone
and using His name for your own protection

God thinks the sun revolves around the Earth
God thinks there was something very wrong with Copernicus
God thinks abortion is murder and
God thinks everything that science gave us is wrong
God thinks women deserve it
God thinks AIDS is a form of punishment

I hate people who blame the Devil for their own shortcomings and
I hate people who thank God when things go right

And I
I know what God thinks
God thinks you're an idiot
God prefers a heretic

God God
God thinks all people like you are hateful
God thinks all people like you are an embarrassment to creation
self-righteous, judgmental, first to throw the stone
and using His name for your own agenda

God is a liberal
God is a democrat
God wants you to vote republican
never trust a man who puts his words in the mouth of god
and says it's absolute truth
its lies and it smells like death
its all in a day's work taking money from the poor
Why do you think that God would need your dirty money
if He wants to start a holy war?

self-righteous, judgmental, first to throw a stone
and using His name for your own protection

God thinks puppies need to die and
God thinks babies need to drown
'cause God is neither good nor bad
God is you and me
God is Everything