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In Which I Have No Point
Nov. 5th, 2010 09:37 pmI just bought my plane tickets home for winter break, and now I'm feeling desperately broke. Which, looked at objectively, is kind of weird, because, well, I have money. Not enough to go swimming in, certainly, but I've never really touched the money I saved up from my summer job two years ago, and I've been slowly but steadily adding to my balance since. Aside from big, once a term things like Yaoi-Con and plane tickets and that unfortunate time my laptop died on me, I don't make a habit of spending more than I earn at work. I'm in no immediate danger of clearing out my savings and having to scape up loose change for the groceries. But I set these arbitrary limits in my head, these lines for where my bank balance should be, and every time I earn more money I draw the line higher, and when I get too close to it, I start panicking. I tell myself I don't have the money to spend on things, and it feels true, even when it realistically isn't, and if I ignore it I spend the next week justifying it to myself and feeling guilty.
Growing up with my mother as the ultimate anti-example of money sense has made me a lot more careful about how, when, and what I spend my money on, and I don't doubt that that's a good and practical skill to have, but I wish it came with a little less baggage. Ah, well.
School continues apace. I'm getting ready to start two big final research projects, one on something to do with spy fiction/thrillers (we haven't read those yet so I don't know what issues will stand out to me...), and one on the changing role of the tabla in Indian music. But there's not a lot of work I can do on them right at the moment, so this weekend I'm just focusing on getting my reading done. It's nice to finally have a few minutes worth of down time - with the Con last weekend and midterms before that I feel like I haven't slept in a month. I love my classes, I really do, but I can't wait until I don't have to take twenty units any more. Way too much work!
Tomorrow is a cleaning and baking day. The Book Sprawl is starting to take over my room again - I can't even see the surface of my desk, and the less said about my laundry the better. The bathroom's getting quite dire too. I already did the kitchen tonight. I even scrubbed the burner plates and mopped the floor! It's hard for me to get my head wrapped around the idea that I am voluntarily and willfully cleaning things, but it is nice to not have to worry about not having shoes on while I'm cooking. And once the bathroom is all clean and nice again, there will be Fucking Pie. It is like regular pie, but more awesome! Pie and homemade biscuits and Korean dramas, what more could a girl ask for?
Growing up with my mother as the ultimate anti-example of money sense has made me a lot more careful about how, when, and what I spend my money on, and I don't doubt that that's a good and practical skill to have, but I wish it came with a little less baggage. Ah, well.
School continues apace. I'm getting ready to start two big final research projects, one on something to do with spy fiction/thrillers (we haven't read those yet so I don't know what issues will stand out to me...), and one on the changing role of the tabla in Indian music. But there's not a lot of work I can do on them right at the moment, so this weekend I'm just focusing on getting my reading done. It's nice to finally have a few minutes worth of down time - with the Con last weekend and midterms before that I feel like I haven't slept in a month. I love my classes, I really do, but I can't wait until I don't have to take twenty units any more. Way too much work!
Tomorrow is a cleaning and baking day. The Book Sprawl is starting to take over my room again - I can't even see the surface of my desk, and the less said about my laundry the better. The bathroom's getting quite dire too. I already did the kitchen tonight. I even scrubbed the burner plates and mopped the floor! It's hard for me to get my head wrapped around the idea that I am voluntarily and willfully cleaning things, but it is nice to not have to worry about not having shoes on while I'm cooking. And once the bathroom is all clean and nice again, there will be Fucking Pie. It is like regular pie, but more awesome! Pie and homemade biscuits and Korean dramas, what more could a girl ask for?