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Doing Okay
Dec. 22nd, 2010 02:18 pmThank you very much to everyone who replied to my last entry - I'm doing my best to get caught up on replying to comments, but in the meantime it just means a lot to me to know that other people are thinking of me and my family right now.
I'm doing okay, I think. It's hard for me to tell - I lost my maternal grandmother and my cousin when I was in high school, but I didn't really know either of them well. This is the first time I've lost someone close to me. And this was something that was both expected and unexpected; he's been sick for a long time, and gradually getting worse, and I think we all knew that and had been preparing ourselves for it, but none of us really expected it to happen now. I'm having a hard time convincing myself that this is really happening, that it's not just another crisis for him to get through like he has before. But I'm dealing, I guess. And trying my best to be there as much as I can for my dad and my grandmother, especially my grandmother, because I know how much more difficult this has to be for her.
Mostly I'm just trying to keep myself busy. I'm still working on my Yuletide, although I got enough of a story thrown together by Monday night that I didn't have to default. If I manage to get in all the scenes I want it's going to be a lot longer than I planned for. And a lot more full of old blues references. Monday and yesterday I baked all the cookies in the world. Triple batches of cranberry-pistachio biscotti, chocolate-peppermint sandwich cookies, and pumpkin chocolate chip. Double batches of vanilla-almond sugar cookies and oatmeal cranberry cookies. You can't even see our kitchen table right now, it is nothing but baked goods. Tonight we are icing, and tomorrow taking things to the girlfriend's apartment so she can box them up as gifts. There may be emergency additional baking required at that point, although I'm really hoping not, because 30 dozen cookies is more than enough baking for me.
I'm doing okay, I think. It's hard for me to tell - I lost my maternal grandmother and my cousin when I was in high school, but I didn't really know either of them well. This is the first time I've lost someone close to me. And this was something that was both expected and unexpected; he's been sick for a long time, and gradually getting worse, and I think we all knew that and had been preparing ourselves for it, but none of us really expected it to happen now. I'm having a hard time convincing myself that this is really happening, that it's not just another crisis for him to get through like he has before. But I'm dealing, I guess. And trying my best to be there as much as I can for my dad and my grandmother, especially my grandmother, because I know how much more difficult this has to be for her.
Mostly I'm just trying to keep myself busy. I'm still working on my Yuletide, although I got enough of a story thrown together by Monday night that I didn't have to default. If I manage to get in all the scenes I want it's going to be a lot longer than I planned for. And a lot more full of old blues references. Monday and yesterday I baked all the cookies in the world. Triple batches of cranberry-pistachio biscotti, chocolate-peppermint sandwich cookies, and pumpkin chocolate chip. Double batches of vanilla-almond sugar cookies and oatmeal cranberry cookies. You can't even see our kitchen table right now, it is nothing but baked goods. Tonight we are icing, and tomorrow taking things to the girlfriend's apartment so she can box them up as gifts. There may be emergency additional baking required at that point, although I'm really hoping not, because 30 dozen cookies is more than enough baking for me.