I Don't Even Know

I think this football obsession is getting out of hand. I am actually, seriously considering listening to sports radio. What the hell, self?

I mean, it's not like I'm going to make a thing of it (I HOPE) because I can't imagine European sports radio is any less mind-bogglingly irritating than American radio. It's just hard to keep track of all the crazy going on in the last minutes of the winter transfer window, and I want someone to explain it to me in small words a football fan can understand. Also, I am following the whole thing with Nando and Liverpool with a kind of schadenfreude-fuelled fascination, because while I love Fernando Torres and his jail-baity freckles, I despise Liverpool for reasons I cannot adequately explain. And look, I'll take any alternative to the endless Cescgate wank from this summer, that was just depressing.

This whole thing is starting to make me feel like I got taken over by brain slugs. Sports-obsessed brain slugs.