Dec. 17th, 2011

masterofmidgets: (gotta be kidding me)
DONE WITH COOKIES AT LAST. Everything is baked, frosted, dipped in chocolate,wrapped and boxed up to be given out this week. If anyone asks me to bake cookies in the next month, I am going to laugh in their face,and possibly punch them. Pie, however, is still negotiable.

Only a week until Christmas, so of course it is time for some family drama. Once again, it involves my asshat of an uncle. For those of you playing along at home, here's the background of the current wankery: my uncle (my dad's oldest brother), his third wife (who is a wonderful person), and my five-year-old cousin have lived in my grandmother's house since they moved back to the US four year ago - first because my uncle didn't have a job, then because my granddad was terminally ill and my grandma needed a lot of help with care, then because my uncle got sick. Since he moved back here, there's been a bit of tension between him, my dad, and my aunt (their oldest sister) because of the money/living with my grandma issue (my mom has suggested he's probably trying to stay long enough that he'll get the house from my grandma, and she's probably not wrong), my uncle's conservative political views, and his general unpleasantness.

Earlier this summer, my dad and my uncle got into a screaming argument while we were stopping by to say hi to my grandma. I only saw the tail end of the fight, but apparently my uncle was a) saying some Islamophobic things about how all Muslims are evil terrorists and b) saying some derogatory things about Mexican immigrants because he was mad about Tiny Cousin's kindergarten class learning about Mexican holidays. The first is impassably offensive, but the second is just stupid, considering that we live in a predominantly Hispanic southwestern state and, OH YEAH, MY GRANDMOTHER, WHO IS HIS MOTHER, IS A LATINA IMMIGRANT. Also, you know, his wife is a native Pacific Islander and Tiny Cousin is mixed race and visibly non-white, so his bullshit racism is personally offensive to pretty much everyone around him. Anyway, my dad called him out on saying racist crap, he said he wasn't, shouting ensued and then stopped immediately when my grandma came into the room and glared at both of them.

For the record, although I'm usually the one to chew him out for being reactionary and having a short temper, I'm totally on my dad's side in this one. I've heard my uncle say ignorant, racist, homophobic stuff before, and I pretty much refuse to have a conversation with him, or even be in the same room if I don't have to. But my dad did apologize within a few minutes of the argument, and he apologized again a few weeks later when he found out my uncle was still upset about it.

When we had Thanksgiving at our house, he refused to come, because he said he didn't want to be around my dad after this incident. Which was...fine, honestly, since none of us like to be around him anyway. And then today, we got a call from my grandma - apparently my uncle has said that he doesn't want to be a part of any of the family Christmas events if my dad is also going to be there, so he, his wife, and Tiny Cousin are going to...I don't even know. Sit in their room during dinner? Go to a hotel for Christmas? I have no idea. My dad offered to absent himself from the festivities, but my grandma is having none of that (not least because he and I are doing most of the work for the tamales).

I don't know what his goal is with this - never have to talk to my dad again and risk having to acknowledge that he's a bigot? Make everyone pay attention him and admit they could never have Christmas without him, and my dad will be permanently disinvited if he'll just come back? Make a big fuss and lash out because he's tired of being sick? He can get bent, as far as I care, but I'm annoyed that he's making this into a whole big deal when it doesn't need to be, and really pissed off that he's making Tiny Cousin miss doing Christmas with the whole family. And the whole thing is deeply upsetting to my grandma at a time when we should all be as fucking supportive as possible - the anniversary of my granddad's death is on Monday, and this is a hard time in a hard year for her.

Sooo basically all the family events at my grandma's (tamales on Christmas eve, presents on Christmas morning, and Christmas day dinner) are going to be super awkward because my uncle is a dickwad, and I am just glad that I can leave after lunch to go to my Grandpa J's with my mom, where things can be awkward because my aunt's husband doesn't like us and my cousins are fighting over their mutual ex (don't even fucking ask) instead. Oh, my family.

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