How To Explain This To My Boss

masterofmidgets: oh humans
masterofmidgets: we really will fuck anything, won't we?
colourofsaying: ...if it holds still long enough?
masterofmidgets: and that is why we have Neanderthal DNA
colourofsaying: pretty much
colourofsaying: we were all 'hey look warm body'
masterofmidgets: and the Denisovians
masterofmidgets: hey baby hey baby looks like you've got opposable thumbs
colourofsaying: which... jeez, humankind
masterofmidgets: I hear your people are learning to use language, I bet you're really good with your tongue
colourofsaying: Hey guess what, I just discovered fire, wanna go get heated up?
masterofmidgets: you, me, and half a mammoth carcass, how about it?
colourofsaying: Like my spear? There's more where that came from.
masterofmidgets got a little homo sapiens sapiens in your genetic code? Would you like some?
colourofsaying: There's a reason we call it the /Fertile/ Crescent
masterofmidgets: we just invented agriculture, want me to teach you how to plow a field?
colourofsaying: ...oh wow
colourofsaying: that's a /terrible/ one
colourofsaying: What the fuck, brain
colourofsaying: You've got a pot, I've got a club, let's make like a mortar and pestle and pound.
masterofmidgets: *groans*
masterofmidgets: that's awful
colourofsaying: ...there's gotta be something good to do with grinding stones
masterofmidgets: ooh, I've got a bad pun
colourofsaying: yeah? share!
masterofmidgets: want to be my fertility goddess? I've already got the fetish
colourofsaying: THAT'S AMAZING
colourofsaying: Hey baby, I see you've got a grinding stone. Whaddya say, ya wanna grind against my stone?

And that is how I almost missed the bus this morning.