Star Trek!

[masterofmidgets]

I SAW STAR TREK! AND OMG I'M IN LOVE.

Things About This Movie I Did Not Love:

1. Uhura's miniskirt. A world that has developed Warp Drive capacity is a world where women can wear goddamn pants when they are kicking ass, okay? FUCK YOU. Especially since Uhura wins in every other way ever.
2. The science. It hurts my brain. I have only the barest grasp of modern physics and even I know how NOTHING WORKS THAT WAY the whole supernova-black hole-red matter nonsense was. If you are going to make up science...don't make up science about things we already know don't do that, please.
3. Nero. He was a lamesauce villain. Not scary, not effective, not threatening in any way, and not all that believable. Khan he is not. But since the bad guy is only peripherially important, I'm willing to give them a pass on that.
4. THE CHAIN OF COMMAND DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY. I don't care if James T Kirk is the most badass motherfucker on this side of the galaxy, I don't care that he just saved the world, there is not a chance in hell Starfleet is going to give command of a Federation ship to a rookie officer a week out of the Academy, especially one with behavioral problems like his, unless every other senior officer in Starfleet was wiped out in a freak accident. IT WOULD NOT HAPPEN. A shiny medal and a promotion, maybe even a very good promotion - like to first officer - but not captain. (Geez, how many seasons was Riker first officer under Picard before he even got a shot at his own command?) Narratively necessary, perhaps, but SO WRONG.

Things About This Movie I Loved:

1. The Enterprise. I can't lie, I felt a little thrill go down my spine when the Enterprise first appeared on screen - it felt like coming home. And I don't know why, since the original series was 25 years before I was born and I've never been a huge fan. I guess its existence is just hard-wired into my geeky soul.
2. Chekov. colourofsaying was so totally right, he is the most adorable thing in the entire universe and I just want to cuddle him and his enthusiasm and his math and his Russian accent forever and ever.
3. Uhura. She's smart and competant and awesome and brilliant at languages and also gorgeous and I love her so much. She is coolness.
4. Chris Pine as Kirk, even though I'm not all that interested in Kirk the character. I mean, I like him, I enjoy seeing him do his thing, I've just never been that excited about him, I suppose because he is exactly what it says on the tin. But he played a great Kirk, because he managed to capture what I think is the real essence of the character - this is a man who has somehow managed to convince the entire universe he is as awesome as he thinks he is. Although - KIRK. STOP DROPPING YOUR DAMN PHASER.
5. Spock. Goes without saying. Quintos was lovely. And as much as the point of this movie is showing us that Awesome Kirk Is Awesome, introducing the new cast and getting them all into their seats, it also feels to me like a coming of age story for Spock, and I can't help but kind of love that.
6. yenta!Spock Prime trying to hook his younger AU self up with Kirk. C'mon, that is so what he's doing! Actually, Leonard Nimoy was just great and every second he was on screen was a delight (and him snarking at himself was doublepluswin), but I really really love how he's all YOU ARE BEST FRIENDS. YOU ARE MEANT TO BE TOGETHER. YOU HAVE A GREAT DESTINY. (JUST KISS ALREADY I DON'T HAVE ALL DAY).
7. Given that, Kirk/McCoy, yes or HELL YES? I heard other people say they were pretty slashy in this movie, but by pretty slashy I did not realise they meant COMPLETELY GAY FOR EACH OTHER. And I never shipped for the original series at all (my involvement with it being pre-slasher me, and actually pre-fandom me), so I've just sort of taken Kirk/Spock for granted. But now...well, I see lots of threesome fic in my future.
8. Just the general existence of this movie. I...okay, when I read movie reviews I always read Roger Ebert, because he's a great writer and our tastes intersect more often than not. And he really didn't like this movie. But his reason for not liking it was...well, mostly that he is old. His whole review had an attitude of 'been there, done this, can we move on?' But I'm twenty. I haven't been there or done that. I've watched some TOS and some TNG and some DS9 but in a very real way this is a whole new universe for me, still all shiny and new and I'm so glad that I get the chance to have it. And at the same time! I love the way the movie inspires in me a feeling of such great nostalgia, even though it's nostalgia for something I NEVER EXPERIENCED. As a lifetime scifi geek, Star Trek is just...it's a part of me, and at the end of the movie, when Kirk is in the Captain's chair and Spock is at his right hand and the crew are at the stations and you hear that voiceover talking about boldly going where no one has gone before - I had tears in my eyes. It just felt so right.

Now where do I find the New Trek porn, people?