Watch Me Try to Be Introspective and Fail

I've been thinking about my religion a lot the last couple weeks, and I'm not sure why. I don't know, I guess I've always had this idea of college as being a time when a lot of people have a religious crisis and change faiths, or stop practicing, or become atheists or whatever - not that /everyone/ does that, of course, it just always seemed like something that happened. But now I really don't see myself doing that, for a lot of reasons. One of them is that my faith isn't something forced on me by my parents, but something that I chose, when I was old enough to understand what I was doing, after a lot of thought and soul-searching. I'm Wiccan because I /want/ to be, not because I'll be grounded if I don't go to church or whatever. Also, the more I learn in my classes, especially SLE, the more I think that I just could not be anything else; I have too many issues with Christianity, with Islam, with Buddhism, with most of the religions that aren't what I am already (not that they aren't good religions, they just don't work for me). I have issues with Wicca on occasion too, but at least there's no such thing as holy writ. If I have issues, I can decide to interpret things or believe things differently, and I won't get burned on the stake. Mostly, though, being Wicca just feels right to me in a way that nothing else ever has.

That being said, I do feel like I've been having a minor religious crisis lately - not doubting my faith, but realizing I'm not practicing it very well. I'm doing my best to live in the spirit of Wicca and the path of the Goddess, and I think I do okay there, I just don't /think/ about it very often - I don't pray, I don't talk to Her, I don't spend time outside listening to Her, I haven't tried to do any spells or divination in a /while/. I just feel...disconnected, and I don't like that.

I'm not sure if pagans do Samhain resolutions, but I'm making one - I want to try harder this year to live as a Wiccan, and not just an ordinary college student who calls herself a Wiccan.

Goddess Bless and Happy Samhain, minna-san!

Random Thought of the Night

How much can you talk to yourself before it crosses the line into full-blown crazy? I ask merely because I realized this weekend that when I am by myself, ie when wandering around the San Francisco International Airport, I talk to myself pretty much continuously. Mostly things like "where am I going this is probably really stupid I'm going to get murdered I wonder how long it will take my roommate to figure out oh well whatever I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing and I should really stop talking to myself seriously it makes me look crazy not like the fangirling doesn't do that anyway." Sometimes I start singing it instead. Is this normal?

Granted, I'm also the person who feels an irresistible urge to sing Irish ballads every time she gets on public transportation, so "normal" probably doesn't enter into the equation.