Who Watches The Watchmen?

OMG! Watchmen! OMG!

I'm trying to have coherent thoughts, but mostly I've just been flailing since I walked out of the theater. But, uh, here's a rundown of my impressions, most of which are pretty much in line with everyone else's that I've heard.

1. Rorshach/Nite Owl = OTP. They just...okay, they were so slashy and wonderful and totally, totally together at some point in their past.
2. Laurie's actress was not as bad as I was led to expect - she started pretty wooden and awful, but she got a lot better as the movie went on.
3. Manhattan's blue lips fascinated me a lot more than his blue penis.
4. The music worked in some places (LIKE THE OPENING CREDITS OMG) and was LOLFAIL in others, especially the sex scene.
5. I could not get into the Dan/Laurie sex scene at all, because I was way too busy being distracted by Dan's adorable squishy ass.
6. Everything looked gorgeous and perfect and I will be very surprised if they don't win a metric fuckton of art and FX awards.
7. RORSHACH=LOVE. SMELLY, CRAZY, FILTHY, BLOODY, VIOLENT LOVE.
8. As much as I wanted the fake space squid, the bombs worked as well...and kind of made more sense to me.
9. The climactic scene in Ozy's palace thingy was pitch perfect and wonderful and really brings into full realization that in any realistic world with superheroes - there can't be any. Fan-fucking-tastic.

I really loved this movie! And so did hanjuuluver, who went with me, which was a little bit of a surprise to me. She's not that into comics, despite my frequent flailing at her, and she's never read or even heard of Watchmen. Yay! We had a really good afternoon together overall - got pizza and then wandered around the mall for two hours before the movie. I got new hairsticks! And she got a really cute shirt. My attempts to find a cute skirt were thwarted, but I'm not that bothered, because after shopping we saw Watchmen and how could I be upset about anything after that!

Do I need to mention it would be Steve/Tony?

So I think I mentioned yesterday that I wanted to write a Marvel Adventures AU where the Avengers are the US Olympic Hockey Team? I...possibly have not stopped thinking about that. I even have their positions all worked out!

Steve "Captain America" Rogers - Centre/Team Captain: Steve was the all-American golden boy of the US Olympic team 4 years ago, and all-but-assured a gold medal and a spot on the pro team of his choice...until a suspicious car accident that claimed the life of his young companion and nearly killed him as well. Now Steve's come out of retirement and reclusion to lead the US team again.

Tony "Iron Man" Stark - Right Wing: Tony's an unstoppable force on the ice, always willing to go to the boards and fight for the puck. But off the ice, he's got a lot to hide - like the fact that he's a billionaire with his own multinational corporation...or the fact that he has a heart condition. How long can he keep the truth under wraps?

Peter "Spiderman" Parker - Left Wing:  Unlike Tony's more physical style, Peter's a quick slash-and-dodge guy, known for his ability to find the smallest holes in the opposing team's defense and his love of playing with his opponents, keeping the puck in their end as long as possible. The unofficial team mascot and all-around good guy, and the only one with a girl back home.

Bruce "Hulk" Banner - Defense: Off ice, Bruce is the sweetest, nicest, and possibly shyest guy you'll ever meet. On the ice...Bruce has a bad habit of losing his temper and throwing himself into fights with guys twice his size, something which has gotten him into serious trouble in the past. Will Steve be able to convince him to keep himself in check, or will he get thrown off the ice for good?

Logan "Wolverine" Howlett - Defense: the meanest, nastiest, trash-talking-est player to set foot on the ice, there is nothing Logan won't say or do to the guy in the other colors - and he's almost as bad off the ice, as well. Not known for being much of a team player, but definitely known for being almost impossible to get a puck around and being able to take the hardest hits his opponents can dish out.

Jan "Giant Girl" Van Dyne - Goalie: Not actually that big; in fact, Jan's probably one of the smallest goalies in the league. The nickname comes from the fact that she covers her net so completely she might as well be a giant. The youngest and least experienced player on the US Team, Jan struggles under the stress of training and the pressure of competition, but she always pulls through in the end.

Ororo "Storm" Munroe - Centre: the second-line centre and guaranteed pinch hitter, as well as the most experienced player on the Avengers, Storm's in charge when Steve isn't around, and she's not afraid to let you know it. The unofficial team mother (well, besides Steve) and councilor, she has her hands full with this pack of misfits.

Also featuring Nick Fury as the cantankerous but secretly fond coach and the Red Skull as the captain of the Evil German Team of Evil!

Obviously this takes place in some bizarro alternate universe where the Olympic rules were never changed to allow pro players and the Olympic sports teams are co-ed. But still. I'm still working on the storyline, but it would involve the team having to learn how to be a team on and off the ice, Tony's secret getting exposed, and Steve having to face the Red Skull (who may or may not have been responsible for the accident that ended his career).

*whimpers* God, what the hell is wrong with me?