OW MY BRAIN

I have a killer sun headache and I can't sleep, so this is the kind of thing my poor overheated brain is obsessing over.

Three Ways the Rest of the Team Finds Out Tony Dinozzo Likes Boys:

1. If somebody would have bothered to tell Tony the FBI was bugging his apartment, he wouldn't have brought the guy home with him. But he likes to have sex in his own bed, thank you, which is why he gets to spend a very painful half hour listening to himself have loud, passionate sex with some guy he picked up in a club while Ziva and McGee crack up over him batting catcher. Gibbs has no comment.

2. Tony has just as horrendous taste in men as he does in women, so it should surprise no one that quite a few of his ex-boyfriends hate his guts. It is a surprise, however, when one of his ex-boyfriends, who blames a one-night-stand with Tony for ruining the relationship with the guy he started dating after Tony dumped him, tries to stab him in front of the restaurant where he, Ziva and McGee are going for lunch. Twenty stitches and a week in the hospital and Tony's fine, though. Gibbs' lecture is actually worse than the getting stabbed part.

3. Abby accidentally lets it slip. It took her two weeks of working with Tony to figure it out, and another three days to put the pieces together and realize what an enormous crush Tony has on his boss. She promised not to tell, but she got sick of watching him and Gibbs keep missing the point, so she decided to take matters into her own, slightly less emotionally stupid, hands.

(Don't let the Gibbs/Tony fool you though, I still ship everyone/everyone on this damned show. He's just as slashy with McGee, if in more of a 'we are totally married' way and less in a 'tell me I'm a good boy!' way. And he and Ziva are...well. Tony/Abby is just ridiculous though.)

Can I Disown Myself?

My family: always happy to make a bad situation worse through meddling.

My aunt told my grandmother about the financial aid mess (for which I want to strangle her, I really really REALLY didn't want my grandma to know about this), and while we were at the hospital today she informed me that I would be spending the night at her place tomorrow, so that I can use their phone on Monday to call Financial Aid and yell at people until they fix things. Reasons I am less than happy about this:

1. I'm already spending the night on Monday because we're going to the opera again (Don Giovanni this time), and I'm not that excited about two days of sleeping in an uncomfortable bed and getting up too early.

2. She keeps her house a million degrees all the time. Being there for more than two hours is risking death by melting; the only way I survived living there for two years was locking myself in my room all the time with an electric fan. Ugh.

3. I don't think what she wants me to do re: financial aid will fix anything, but she won't stop nagging me and guilt-tripping me until I do what she thinks I should. Yay stress!

4. I won't be able to use my computer, unless my dad can get the wireless connection fixed. I hate using her computer, and I feel all paranoid about everything I do and every site I visit, even the totally innocuous ones. Also, when I use her computer she is constantly leaning over my shoulder asking me what I'm doing and I HATE that.

5. Two days with her means two days with my uncle, King of Mansplaining. He is one of those guys who thinks his penis makes him an expert in everything, and even if it doesn't, he definitely knows better than you, little girl. It never fails to infuriate me. When I was there last week he flipped out because I installed iTunes on the desktop and he decided it was going to make the computer explode.

And now I'm feeling like I'm being whiny and stupid about this, because I do love my grandma and I want to spend time with her, but...I really don't want to spend the night tomorrow. At all. Gah.