Wank Post Is Wanky

[masterofmidgets]

Okay, first the happy part of the post: I have a job! At the movie theater! Working concessions, and possibly the ticket box at some point in the future. Orientation is tomorrow, and I'm, like, embarrassingly excited about what I'm reasonably sure is going to turn out to be a kind of unpleasant job for not much money. But hey! Job! Income! Hopefully being able to continue to pay to go to school! Yay!

Now for the longer, wankier part. After my job interview, my dad and I went to buy clothes for me to wear to orientation tomorrow, since I am rather lacking in plain black slacks and any sort of belts. And god, but I HATE HATE HATE clothes shopping, even ignoring that I have a lot of chemical sensitivities that mean if I spent more than about half an hour in clothing stores (or Wal-Mart) I end up dizzy, nauseous, and with a migraine. Fun. But that's not the only reason I hate it, and today was an object lesson for why.

Here's a disclaimer: I'm overweight. Hey, I'll be frank and say I'm fat. I've made some less than ideal, and in some cases just dumb, lifestyle choices, and now I get to deal with the consequence, which is being overweight. And you know what, I'm okay with that, most of the time; I've put a lot of effort in the last few years into being comfortable with myself, and not basing my self-worth or self-confidence on my ability to squeeze into a size 2 dress. On the flip side, I've also been working on losing weight (since it's really not healthy, yadda yadda), and in the last year I've lost two pants sizes and I think in another few months I'll be down another.

Which is why I get really, sincerely pissed off when I go into a store to buy clothes that I need for work and find that they don't carry a single pair of pants in my size in the entire department store, or even the size right below me that I might be able to squeeze into if I held my breath. I get pissed when all the clothes for girls my size are ugly and unflattering. I get really, really pissed when I see my best friend, who weighs maybe 120lbs, if /that/, unable to fit into a shirt marked XL, and the biggest shirt they carry at that. It's just...frustrating.

I don't like stores sending the message that 120lbs is extra-large. I don't like them implying in the clothes they sell that only girls who can wear a size 8 are allowed to wear cute clothes or feel good about their body and appearance. I don't like the impression I get that these stores think that maybe if they don't sell anything over a 16 fat girls will cease to exist. I exist, okay? And just because I'm overweight doesn't mean I don't need to wear clothes too, morons. I'm not asking, here, for our culture's idea of beauty and physical attractiveness to change (although that would be nice), I'm not bashing on the girls who are lucky enough or take care of themselves well enough to fit into a size 8, I'm not saying there's a vast anti-fat people conspiracy going on here. I'm just saying, would it kill the stores, really, to sell nice looking clothes in my size (and bigger sizes!)?

I know I'm not saying anything here that hasn't been said, and more articulately, by a million other people, but damnit, it pisses me off to have to spend 2 hours going to 4 different department stores trying to find one pair of pants that will fit me. and they were still too frickin long, but it's not their fault I'm short, too

Comments

[estarial.livejournal.com]

Well, I think it's no shocker to you that I am overweight. Unlike you, I think I've gained several pant sizes over the school year. Oh Stanford.

Anyway, I feel your pain. Do you have Lord & Taylor's on the westish coast? That's where I get a lot of my nicer clothes. They often have hardcore sales and their women's (as opposed to their ladies') department makes a good amount of non-ugly clothes for larger women.