masterofmidgets: (beetle)
Fact: I have no internal clock. No, really. My sense of time, absent any external measure, is non-existent. I've never been able to accurately say if it's been ten minutes or twenty or closer to an hour (this would be why I'm an obsessive clock-watcher, especially in class or when I've got an appointment). I have to check my phone to know what the date is, and if I've ever asked you the day of the week, it's because I honestly wasn't sure.

With macro-time (ie, anything longer than 24 hours), I generally don't think in concrete absolute divisions so much as abstract associations - I usually define days by their events, or the places I am, or their relation to other days. It used to drive my dad crazy when I was in high school, because he is...well, he's an accountant. Very black and white, just the facts, everything can be expressed with a linear formula thinker. And I would try to argue with him that when we had long weekends off from school, that made Thursday in fact Friday, because the only essential quality of Friday was that it was the last day of work before the weekend started. Monday is always the first day of the week, whether or not it's actually a Tuesday. That sort of thing.

I swear there's a point to this, aside from me being crazy. Last quarter, I had section on Friday afternoons, and a discussion section due to my TA the night before. This quarter, my schedule's all different, and I don't have anything after my section on Thursday night, and because of that, my sense of time is all screwed up. Between that and changing my work schedule for the first time in months, I pretty much haven't known what day it was since Monday. Which would be why I spent the last six hours thinking it was Friday and wondering if someone shipped off the freshmen for the weekend without telling me.

Sometimes I think it's really amazing I've lasted this long.
masterofmidgets: (Blue Beetle)


9AM Mexico: Hey, We Warned You!

CSR, on speakerphone: And where would you like this order shipped?
Secretary: 123 Main St.*, Los Alamos, New Mexico.
CSR : We don't ship out of the country.
Secretary: That's fine, but this address is in the country.
CSR : No, you said to ship it to New Mexico.
Secretary: Yes, New Mexico is a state in the US.
CSR : Sorry, but we can't ship out of the US.
Secretary: Do you have a supervisor I can talk to, please?
[Long pause.]
CSR supervisor: This is Tim. Can I help you?
Secretary: I hope so, Tim. Your employee doesn't seem to understand that New Mexico is a state in the United States, and so refuses to ship me your product.
Supervisor: Well, that's true. We can't ship out of the country. I'm sorry ma'am.
Secretary, raising her voice a little: Have you never even heard of the state of New Mexico? It's one of the big, square ones? It's right between Texas and Arizona? It's one of the 50 United States?
Supervisor: I'm sorry, it's just our policy not to ship out of the US.
Secretary: Tim, let me get this straight. Your company is going to lose a $14,000 order because the people in your customer service department are too moronic to know or comprehend that the state of New Mexico is a part of the United States?
Supervisor: Yes, ma'am. That's our policy.
Secretary, completely exasperated: Well, I guess there's nothing more to be said, is there?
Supervisor: No, ma'am. Have a nice day.

Los Alamos, New Mexico

Overheard by: New Mexican
via Overheard in the Office, Jun 16, 2008
masterofmidgets: (Blue Beetle)
Except Of An IM Conversation Between Myself and Envy, Regarding a Mutual Acquaintance Of Less Than Blinding Intellect (referred to variously as Envy's Midget, The Pink One, and Caitlin)

Envy: I'm telling the Pink One in total seriousness that the end of the world is in 2012.
Envy: Let's see how she takes it.
Envy: Caitlin says: No i dont belive in that end of the world crap. Envy-chan says: the mayan calendar has yet to be wrong. Caitlin says: Oh well I dont think it will really be the end of the world
Ed: heh
Ed: Wait, I thought she was uber!Christian?
Envy: me too
Ed: Isn't Christianity kind of apocalyptic?
Envy: rather quite. Most of them see it as the redemption of the earth
Envy: omg
Envy: I can't believe she just said that.
Envy: Envy-chan says: so what about that whole part of the bible about the second coming? What do you make of that? Caitlin says: I havent heard that.
Ed: ...WTF?
Ed: I'm a fucking heathen and I've heard of Revelations
Ed: this defies all explanation
... blah blah blah random brief discussion of something fanficish I was reading and Christian!canon
Envy: [after sending this girl a link to Revelations] but then she finally agreed to read it. After lots of rantage. Although I'm not too sure if she actually will or not.
Ed: ...you had to force a Christian to read the Bible? How does that even work?!?!

The conversation derailed pretty quickly after that to a comparison of her as an open-minded Christian who embraces a lot of Hindu ideas and me as a Pagan, some weird mental imagery of bisected!Jesus, and quotage of Anuna lyrics and links to A Softer World strips (check it out, it is awesome). But that's the gist of it. And I...keep trying to think of some response to this conversation other than WTF, but I can't.

The only reason Envy and I still talk to this girl at all is because it's kind of fun to bait her - we have a running competition to see who can answer "Hey, what's up?" with the most violent, obscene, nonsensical, or just batshit insane descriptions, in an attempt to elicit something besides "oh i see" in response. One circumstance in which the Alien Pie Tentacle Rape comes in handy! (and she's vaguely homophobic, too, so saying something like "I just saw Iron Man and am now imagining Rhodey licking sweat and grease off Tony's sexy sexy body" are guaranteed to be shock-inducing)

And for added context: Envy met this girl at a CHRISTIAN CHURCH CAMP. Having to be told basic tenets of a religion that is not ony the major , even defining, religion of your country but also that you profess to believe in = YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.

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