Go Go Coping Mechanisms
Aug. 7th, 2009 11:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
masterofmidgetsSo I've really gotten out of the habit of meditating, since it's such a pain at school - it's always noisy, or busy, or I'm worried my roommate will come back and think I'm a weirdo. And I haven't done any ritual work in ages, so it hasn't come up in that context. And I'm mega-lazy, there is that. Once in a while I think about it and feel kind of lame for not bothering to do it more often, but...then I still don't.
But the last week or so I've been pretty insanely frazzled - the financial aid thing, and worrying about my grades next year, and stressing about my writing - just a whole mess of things I'm freaking out about, and then I get freaked out about freaking out, and then I'm just a big ball of neurosis and crying at people on the internet (as you may have noticed, people who have to listen to me angst). I've not been doing so well with the coping thing, is my point here. Mentally, I'm kind of feeling like a fuzzy, worn-through piece of yarn. But this evening I was sitting here, feeling miserable and sorry for myself, and I thought hey, maybe I should take a few minutes and do some meditating.
So I turned off the big light in my room, snagged my altar candles and their tiles, and took half an hour to do a simple grounding-and-centering exercise. Nothing terribly fancy, since even when I try my damnedest at meditating I'm a bit easily distracted. Just visualization and breathing and more breathing, and then at the end a brief invocation for guidance - I like ending with the Goddess and I could certainly use the help right now. And, um, I feel better, mentally/emotionally speaking, than I have all week? A lot more calm, and, well, grounded. Imagine that.
MEDITATION: I SHOULD DO THAT MORE.
(I'm also thinking I ought to do some kind of working before I go back to school re: my terminal focus/procrastination issues and dealing with that better. My favorite books are in California, but I do have a good few here, I'm going to have to see what I can find.)
But the last week or so I've been pretty insanely frazzled - the financial aid thing, and worrying about my grades next year, and stressing about my writing - just a whole mess of things I'm freaking out about, and then I get freaked out about freaking out, and then I'm just a big ball of neurosis and crying at people on the internet (as you may have noticed, people who have to listen to me angst). I've not been doing so well with the coping thing, is my point here. Mentally, I'm kind of feeling like a fuzzy, worn-through piece of yarn. But this evening I was sitting here, feeling miserable and sorry for myself, and I thought hey, maybe I should take a few minutes and do some meditating.
So I turned off the big light in my room, snagged my altar candles and their tiles, and took half an hour to do a simple grounding-and-centering exercise. Nothing terribly fancy, since even when I try my damnedest at meditating I'm a bit easily distracted. Just visualization and breathing and more breathing, and then at the end a brief invocation for guidance - I like ending with the Goddess and I could certainly use the help right now. And, um, I feel better, mentally/emotionally speaking, than I have all week? A lot more calm, and, well, grounded. Imagine that.
MEDITATION: I SHOULD DO THAT MORE.
(I'm also thinking I ought to do some kind of working before I go back to school re: my terminal focus/procrastination issues and dealing with that better. My favorite books are in California, but I do have a good few here, I'm going to have to see what I can find.)